
Recently I saw a video clip of a man receiving a new pair of sunglasses. He was a 66-year-old body builder, the epitome of a real tough guy. The glasses were a birthday gift from his family. As he was opening the packaging I thought to myself, “What is so great about this guy getting a pair of sunglasses?” I was about to turn the video off, when his reaction took me by surprise. After putting the glasses on he became very emotional and began to cry. Then this big, burly man began to giggle, while shaking his clenched hands in child-like joy. He went back and forth between tears and laughter for several minutes. His wife said, “Now you can see with our eyes!” What I had not understood was these glasses were Enchroma glasses, designed for people who are colorblind. This man was seeing the world in complete and true color for the very first time. The video had captured this profound and personal moment; before I knew it . . . I was crying too. I found myself caught up in this man’s elation, as he experienced, what so many of us take for granted. And then it hit me. The Spirit whispered to my heart and confirmed that this moment was just a tiny glimpse of what it will be like for us, when the veil is lifted, and we are finally able to look through “eternal glasses” and see the vibrant, rich, radiant, perfect plan of our Heavenly Father. I’m grateful for this insight especially now, as we approach another anniversary of our son, Dallin’s passing. It seems each fall brings with it, a barrage of emotions, most of which are painful ones. Many of the parents we have met who, like us, have lost a child describe the world we now live in as bleak and colorless. The once bright and happy landscape of our lives has become dull and uninviting, overshadowed by an unexpected foreground of loss and grief. There are patches of color that pop up from time to time, warm happy memories of days gone by, brilliant bits of peace felt in a sunset, a sunrise, a song, a scent, hues of healing in everyday acts of service, bursts of joy felt in the laughter or embrace of a child and even subtle splashes of hope, as we try to adjust to “our new normal.” But eventually a grey wash always seems to overpower these fleeting bright spots. Sadly our life, with our finite perspective has been darkened by our unimaginable loss. In a very real sense we have become colorblind.
I am so grateful this is a temporary mortal condition. I am grateful a loving, merciful Heavenly Father allowed His perfect Son to go below all things and in ways I cannot comprehend, He suffered EVERY PAIN known to mankind, even the death of a child. He willingly did this so He could succor, lift and carry us through our trials. Though my vision is limited and my current world is often without color and though I cannot see or understand the reasons behind our loss with my earthly eyes . . . I know with all of my heart, someday I will. This faith, along with the love of my Savior, will sustain me until my Heavenly Father gives me the gift of eternal sight and lovingly says; “Now you can see with our eyes.” I look forward to that day when I will finally be able to see this new world, a bright, new, wonderful place, full of my loved ones, vivid forever-colors and redeeming truth. And like the 66-year-old body builder, I am sure I will cry joyful tears of gratitude.
Thank you Dear friend. Each person that we love adds color to our world. Each experience that we have adds color to our world. Some experiences add the shadow and some add the highlights. But all of it creates a beautiful, magnificent painting of our lives. Sometimes we just need to step back a few steps and tilt our head or squint our eyes to gain a new perspective and see what the painting is becoming. It takes a conscious effort on our part, at first, to find the color in each moment. But you can. And it is simple but it does take effort, at first. Just be thankful. Express gratitude in every thing. Audible expressions of gratitude even when you don’t feel it, change our hearts. Ever so slowly, at first. Barely even noticeable. But there is a change. Just keep doing it and it will happen. And your “new normal” won’t be gray anymore. The gray is just film on the glass you are looking through. Through the atonement the glass or lense is cleaned and you will see colors now that you didn’t even know existed because of the shadows that have been added to your painting from your experience losing a loved one. Those shadows are deep and the colors that were there before appear brighter now. As you become grateful God will send new experiences into your life that will add highlights and new and brilliant colors to your painting. You will still have shadows. But that is what makes a painting rich and beautiful. May you again find the “color” while yet in this life is my hope and prayer for you. Love you Tammy ❤️
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Timing is a wonderful and tricky thing. I’m not exactly sure why (I suspect it has to do with the Lord’s infinite wisdom) I just barely discovered, for the first time, a handful of messages here on my blog. Your’s was one fo them. Thank you for your beautiful words of insight and encouragement. How interesting and wonderful it is, your message was “given” to me in the month, I still struggle to survive. I love you dear friend and I love your gentle and much needed reminder that the Atonement is the Healer of all things and Heavenly Father is the Master Painter.
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